


5 things Azula loves (that she was never allowed to have)

by Oceantail



Series: Oceantail's ATLA fics [6]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula (Avatar)-centric, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Happy Azula (Avatar), Healthy Relationships, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, POV Azula (Avatar), azula loves stuff that people dont really know about, bc my shitty dad is in jail also fuck him, fuck it i want all this stuff i wasn't allowed to have as a kid, good for her tbh, post-redemption arc azula is like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25118188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oceantail/pseuds/Oceantail
Summary: Azula Week 2020 Day 1: LoveWhat it says in the title + tags.
Relationships: Azula & Iroh (Avatar), Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Series: Oceantail's ATLA fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805656
Comments: 25
Kudos: 396





	5 things Azula loves (that she was never allowed to have)

_1_

~~

Azula loves her stuffed platypus bear. Her mother bought it from a festival booth when she was just a toddler learning to crawl around on the nursery floor. At that age, the plush was as big as her and her mother laughed about how she would always ignore other toys in favor of that one. 

As she gets older, Azula will always maintain that while she hates dolls, with their dead, expressionless eyes, and fake sewn-on mouths, a stuffed animal is _different._ It’s soft and squishy and fluffy and just the right size to tuck under the blankets and hug at night. 

Well, she also loves it because _Mom_ gave it to her. 

When she was around 5, she makes the executive decision to name it Zuzu, for her brother. She’ll never _tell_ Zuko that obviously, could you imagine how much he’d tease her for it? 

For years, she hugs the stuffed animal when she sleeps, but eventually, Zuzu makes its way to her nightstand instead, like a protective guardian watching over her while she sleeps. 

Of course, a platypus bear is an Earth Kingdom animal, and she _knows_ Father doesn’t approve of it, but she tries to ignore that the best she can. She’s still a prodigy, the only wielder of blue flame in centuries, and a near firebending master. Having one thing that father doesn't entirely like can’t hurt too much, right? 

But the night after Zuko’s failed Agni Kai, Zuzu the platypus bear goes up in flames. Reduced to ashes, in a bright flash of blue. 

No need for father to have any more reason to hate her like he hates her brother, she thinks, shivering despite the warm summer air. 

She turns the name “Zuzu” into a mocking, taunting one whenever she sees her brother. She doesn’t dare to think about any other Zuzu for a long long time. 

~~

On the eve of her daughter's first birthday, the night before the massive party with all their friends and family that would commence the next day, Azula places a stuffed platypus bear she bought the other day in front of her daughter. 

She gurgles happily and hugs the gift that’s nearly the size of herself.

Azula smiles. 

* * *

_2_

~~

Azula loves the feeling of fingers running through her hair. Of course, she could easily have servants brush and wash her hair, which she does, but for some reason, it doesn’t feel _right._

A long time ago, she remembers her mother running her hand through her hair and marveling at its soft silkiness. She goes to the Royal Spa almost every day when she can and closes her eyes, guiltily trying to imagine that the servants running their hands through her hair are her mother. It doesn't work though. It never does. 

She won’t let anyone know, of course. The princess of the Fire Nation has a weakness for her _hair_? She’d never rid herself of that kind of reputation. 

~~

Decades later though, Ty Lee runs her hands through her wife’s loose hair and Azula melts at her touch. 

* * *

_3_

~~

Azula loves fancy hair clips. However, as Princess of the Fire Nation there’s a standard set headpieces she’s required to wear. Either a small deep-red one or a slightly larger golden one. Azula doesn’t care much for either of them.

Not to mention, they're the same style as _Zuko’s_ headpieces, and how exactly is she supposed to stand out when her brother wears the same thing she does? 

She’s envious of Ty Lee's wide variety of hair ribbons (well “variety” is a stretch, they’re all just different shades of pink) and even the wider ribbons that wrapped around Mai’s buns when they were children. 

During her infiltration of Ba Sing Se, Azula runs her hands across the wide Kyoshi warrior headpiece, so much different than she’s used too. It’s still a dirty _Earth Kingdom_ style, but Azula secretly admits to herself that she does like the variety of wearing something different than her Fire Princess crown. 

~~

One morning, years after the war ended, Azula reaches up to adjust the standard golden flame headpiece that the servants placed in her hair a few minutes ago, before hesitating. Looking around, as if checking if someone would stop her, she eases the flame piece out of her hair and yanks the ribbon holding her top knot up. Her hair falls past her shoulders, loose and just a bit disorganized. She drops the headpiece and ribbon into a drawer, then digs around to bring out an elegant hair clip Mai and Ty Lee had hesitantly given her for her 17th birthday. The handcrafted fire lilies adorning the body of the clip glittered as she held it out in the morning light. She pushed it into her hair just above her ear and smiled slightly at her reflection in the vanity mirror. 

Not regulation, but after admiring the sparkling red-orange clip standing out in her dark hair, Azula doesn't think she cares. 

* * *

_4_

~~

Azula loves hugs. She rarely gets them, but she appreciates them whenever she does. Then, she hates herself for appreciating it. Affection is weakness, she reminds herself. 

Ty lee hugs her when they meet again at the circus and Azula instinctively brings her arm up around Ty Lee’s shoulder, clutching at her friend, almost afraid she’ll let go. 

She does of course. It’ll be strange for someone to hug the Fire Nation Princess for that long, but Azula sometimes wishes it wasn’t. 

When they meet up with Mai in Omashu, Azula hesitantly steps forward towards her other friend, a little put off by the lack of reaction. 

To her relief, Ty Lee launches herself forward and wraps the two of them in a group hug. Azula relaxes slightly but pretends to scoff at her. 

Later during their hunt for the Avatar, she spies long white clumps of the sky bison’s fur swirling in the river water. Frowning, Azula kneels and dips her hands into the water to pull out a clump for closer examination. 

Behind her, Ty Lee is babbling something to an apathetic Mai, but Azula hears her tackle Mai into a hug. 

Azula scowls. 

~~

Azula makes her first stuttering apology to Mai and Ty Lee months after being relocated from the Fire Palace prisons to a temporary room in the guest wing of the palace. It’s awkward and nerve-racking and she's tripping over her own words and stumbling her way through the beginnings of a speech she agonized over for months when Ty Lee interrupts her with a tight hug. 

Azula loses her words and cautiously brings an arm up to embrace Ty Lee in return. Mai doesn't hug them but rests a hand on both their shoulders. 

Azula almost cries in relief. 

* * *

_5_

~~

Azula loves Pai Sho. As a child, she would watch her mother play with other nobles over tea, the shiny tiles making satisfying clacks as they were placed down on the wooden board. Sometimes, her mother would let her make a couple of moves. 

But those peaceful afternoons soon disappeared from her life when a shower of sparks exploded from her fingertips in a bright flash of light. Her father immediately ordered her to begin firebending training and to cut out any forms of useless recreation out of her day. 

She never glances at a Pai Sho board until years later.

~~

Azula plays Pai Sho with her uncle whenever he visits the Fire Nation or whenever she visits his tea shop in Ba Sing Se. 

Pai Sho was the first thing they’d ever bonded over in the years after the war when they’d started to tolerate each other more. Also, Azula knows Uncle likes playing with her more than with Zuko because she can actually play at his level. They both know Zuko still doesn't hold too much love or patience for the game. 

Every time, Iroh brings out a special jasmine blend of tea leaves he creates just for these days and lets her heat up the teapot with a slow, controlled stream of firebending. They sit and play all afternoon, periodically reheating the pot of tea as they play game after game. 

And Azula finally feels at peace.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> hang out with me on [tumblr](https://oceantail-oceantail.tumblr.com/)
> 
> edit: after watching Return to Omashu, there's no group hug between the three of them. Azula and Mai do this awkward shoulder/arm/hand half-hug thing and after that, Ty Lee tackles Mai into a hug for herself. I didn't remember the scene properly when writing, but I'm not going to change my version so we can chalk it up to fanfiction yay.


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